• Brian Schiller

Old ESPN Spec Commercials

Updated: Sep 9, 2018

by Brian Schiller


“ESPN: Where Greatness Begins” STEVE LEVY is talking to the camera in present time.


LEVY:

You know, some of the greatest people in sports

started their careers right here at ESPN.


We cut back to an earlier time in the ESPN cafeteria. MICHAEL BUFFER, the famous boxing ring announcer is wearing a cafeteria employee apron as he serves LINDA COHN and JOHN ANDERSON from behind the counter.


We see a graphic title that reads 1998.


COHN:

Excuse me, what’s that?


LINDA COHN points to food inside a corner tray in the hot food bar. BUFFER:

(said in iconic announcer voice)

Out of this corner, hailing from the refrigerator

and just prepared this morning, serving up to you

with a potential side order of mashed potatoes or

macaroni and cheese, it’s Veal Cutlet Parmesan! ANDERSON:

Sounds great, what’s for dessert? BUFFER:

(said in iconic announcer voice)

Let’s get ready for Apple Crumbbbbbbbbbbbble!!!


COHN AND ANDERSON become giddy with anticipation. Up Titles: "ESPN"


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


“ESPN: West Coast Representation”


We see NEIL EVERETT walking down the hall at the ESPN WEST STUDIOS towards the BREAK ROOM / KITCHEN. His intent is to take a break as he appears a little stressed.


EVERETT:

I need a break.


EVERETT opens the doors to the BREAK ROOM to find a meeting of several uniformed LOS ANGELES RAMS. Jeff Fisher, the coach of the LA RAMS is standing by a chalkboard when EVERETT arrives.


FISHER:

Oh hey Neil, Stan said we could use

the break room for our meeting.


EVERETT:

Oh, okay.


EVERETT waves to the guys, closes the door and continues walking down the hall. When he turns the corner, to hang out by the WATER COOLER, he finds LUKE WALTON and members of the LA LAKERS, in uniform, sitting around the cooler in some makeshift chairs. WALTON, with a cup of water in his hand, greets EVERETT.


WALTON:

Hey buddy, Stan said we could have our

meeting around the water cooler.


EVERETT:

Really?


EVERETT, again, waves to the guys and anxiously moves on to find another place to take his break. He soon comes upon a MEN’S BATHROOM and opens the door to find members of the LOS ANGELES DODGERS, uniformed, and also holding a meeting. Manager DAVE ROBERTS is standing amongst players sitting around in makeshift chairs. ROBERTS:

Hi Neil, Stan said…


EVERETT:

(frustrated)

Yeah, yeah, I know what Stan said. Is it so

hard to find a place to be alone and think?


Just then a toilet flushes and CLAYTON KERSHAW, holding an issue of “ESPN the Magazine”, comes out of one of the stalls.


KERSHAW:

You can have this one.


Up Titles: "SportsCenter"


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